Posted by
Jesse "The Mind" Norman on Friday, September 19, 2008 9:07:00 AM
Keith Olbermann, a left-wing nutjob that has a show on MSNBC called "Nobody's Watching With Keith Olbermann" was recently caught speaking off the cuff on a few subjects when he thought the mic was off. In fact it was a hot mic after his show went off the air. This is a real (okay not really) transcript.
Keith: "I am the smartest person in the world and I know it, but I don't even know why I have a show. And the worst person of the day is, gee you guessed it, Bill O'Reilly. He keeps saying we're far left at MSNBC. We're not (wink). We are straight down the middle. Bill, go harass another intern. Okay, that's our show for this evening. Thanks for watching, the five of you. Damn I love that man."
Producer: "Who?"
Keith: "Bill. Man I wish I was that guy. What he says actually matters. Do you think he knows who I am? I insult him like a little girl punching a boy in the schoolyard hoping to get a kiss. Do you think he knows I'm alive?"
Producer: "Why do you care?"
Keith: "Oh uhhhhh I don't. No.....no I don't care. To hell with him. How many times must I insult him to get him to notice me?"
Producer: "Don't you think you've taken this obsession to an extremely unhealthy level?"
Keith: "That's what Dr. Melfi said. Hey, have you ever heard of a Tony Soprano? She keeps talking about him."
Producer: "Uhhh Keith, that's a show. It's called "The Sopranos". Dr. Melfi is a made-up character on the show."
Keith: "Damn, am I that far gone? Anywho, did Barack call yet? He's supposed to fax me tomorrow's show. It's not here yet!"
Producer: "I don't know if he's called yet. Don't worry. He's never late to tell you what to talk about. He's our Obamessiah."
Keith: "Amen. Was he mad I mentioned his name on the show last night?"
Producer: "Furious. Even if it was positive he said you're only supposed to talk negatively about McCain and Palin and Foxnews. He said you're not being a good disciple."
Keith: "Damn, I am screwed. Would flowers be good to send him with a note of sincere apology?"
Producer: "Already sent."
Keith: "Thanks Mr. Rather. You've been in the business a long time so you know how things work. I wish you got fired a decade ago..... Sorry, I didn't mean that."
Dan: "That's okay. This actually is my dream. I wasn't really ever hiding my rabid liberal bias on CBS before, but this is bias unleashed."
Keith: "You're telling me. Hey did the show get any emails yet this week? It's Thursday."
Dan: "Nope. Keep hope alive."
Keith looking at a picture of O'Reilly and kisses it: "Please Bill. Notice me. Want me! Love me! Need me!"
As you can read, this boy has a problem.