Posted by
Jesse "The Mind" Norman on Saturday, November 29, 2008 3:43:00 AM
Yes, Brinks commercials are racist. Why are they racist you ask? Because according to Brinks, minorities don't break into homes or have their homes broken into. Everyone who's had their homes broken into in those commercials are white, and everyone who breaks into them are white too. One of those little anecdotal things that make you think "hey, he's right." Maybe to Brinks minorities don't break into homes or have their homes broken into, but being someone who's lived in Gary, IN for nearly half of his life I can tell you that yes it does happen. Our home was broken into. Next door neighbor had their home broken into. Two homes across the street were broken into. Being that my family were the only white ones on the street, it's safe to assume minorities broke into and had their homes broken into. Trust me, it happens.
The commercials are so bad too. They make sure to let everyone know that the person that is breaking into the home is white. One of the commercials, this guy broke into this home where the mother thought the daughter was trying to get in. He busts in the door and just stands there. What many do not know is if you have the captions on, even though he doesn't say anything verbally the caption says "hey, I'm white and I just broke into your home." Then he hears the alarm going off. I didn't know this, but apparently to crooks that alarm puts the fear into them like someone getting caught in the lights at a POW camp while trying to escape in WWII. In another commercial, one guy stops and ties his shoe while looking and nodding at the man leaving his driveway in broad daylight. Once the coast is clear, he puts on his hood (a little too late for that, dontcha think?), and then looks menacingly at ..................... NOBODY! He snarls, huffs and puffs and looks ticked off, but no one is around to see that he is one bad apple with a worm in it that has a chip on his shoulder. Then he kicks down the front door, again this is in broad daylight. Once that alarm goes off he runs for the hills like the woman pulled out a shotgun. If seeing the man of the home and making sure he had a good look at his face, and busts down the frontdoor in the brightness of daylight isn't going to scare him away, I don't think an alarm going "beep beep beep" will. Call me crazy.
The absolute worse though is when there is a man at home and someone breaks into their home. Those are the worst because the man is always an uberwimp to the 99th power. The one where the couple is in bed inside their new home and they hear a noise. He goes to check it out and the door is broken open. He runs back to the room and slid headfirst ala Rickey Henderson under the bed only leaving a shivering sheet in his wake. Okay, he didn't really do that but he might as well have. They always make sure the man is some white wuss scared out of his wits and wouldn't even dare telling someone to stop raping his wife, so that way the man looks incapable of defending a home, but a noise box can. Every guy home in those commercials is a bonafide pantywaste. I think I heard one man say "here, take my wife. Just don't hurt me, Mr. White Homerobber."
Here's another question. Brinks calls you up right when those alarms go off. What if the robber answers the phone? "Oh yeah, everything is just fine here. I just tripped the alarm. Stupid me. I am blonde you know." All the while having a knife in his hand and motioning the woman to keep quiet. "Sure you don't want me to send someone over?" "NO! uh I mean no, that won't be necessary. Everything is fine here."
This is one of those blogs that I write that's half-serious and half-joking around. I do have my own warped sense of humor, and this blog is no exception. I do have to say these commercials do annoy me. I realize that because of racial sensitivities and PC gone mad that if they had just one minority break into a home that they would never hear the end of it. How about a minority having their home broken into? Is that too much to ask? And please quit making the men look like Judy Garland in a dark forest looking for lions, tigers, and bears. I haven't seen a fear in the eyes like that since I saw Jon Voight on his knees in "Deliverance". If someone breaks into my home, it will be them that will need an alarm. Maybe they will have one of those Life Alert neck alarms. "Help, this insane guy is beating my a$$! I broke into his home but he's gone totally crazy. Why did it have to be this home? Oh damn! He's got a machete! There goes my leg! Oh nooooo!"