Posted by
Jesse "The Mind" Norman on Saturday, April 18, 2009 9:00:00 AM
My prognosticative abilities are beyond that of Nostradamus. I have friends and the written word alike that can attest to this. I predicted the Cubs would lose the first round of the playoffs last year against the Dodgers. I predicted Mayor Daley of Chicago (or Chicaaahgo as I like to say it) would win in his last election bid, and he did so in stunning fashion. I even predicted I was going to slap my friend senseless seconds before actually doing it. Since my friend isn't too swift, the fulfilling of this prophecy perplexed him. He is now a disciple in Normanism. Don't doubt me as a soothsayer. Many years ago Steve Guttenberg thought he had the world by the tail. I told him not to do that seventh Police Academy movie "Police Academy 7: I'll Show You What To Do With That Night Stick" and that it would hurt his career. He said in verbatim "yeah right. I can't be taken down. I'm Steve Guttenberg, dammit!" Have you heard anything from Mr. Guttenberg lately? I arrest my case.
In a few previous blogs I unwittingly made a few jokes that wound up becoming prophecy. Life intimidating art. Here's a list of these prophecies:
1. In the blog "President Jesse 'The Mind' Norman As A Liberal Candidate", I made several over-the-top proposals as part of my platform if I ran as a liberal candidate. A few of them will make it on this list. The first one is the funding of the Gloryhole Theme Park. In President Obama's stimulus package, there wound up being funding for a theme park in it. No word if it was for the Gloryhole Theme Park or not. Best way to tell is if in the near future you see Keith Olbermann with worn out knees in his pants or a little something on his chin. How do you like that Keith?
2. In that same blog in my Ovarian Mulligan proposal (you golfers know what a Mulligan is), I said that all OBGYN's would be forced to perform abortions no matter their beliefs. If they decided to quit, then they would be shot. The Obama Administration is heavily discussing getting rid of the "Conscience Clause" that allows doctors who have religious or right-to-life beliefs to not perform abortions if they didn't want to. To make doctors perform abortions that they do not believe in giving would make many of them quit or choose to go into another field before even starting. This is not only anti-American to force a doctor to perform an abortion if they do not wish to, but it's about as disgusting of a thing as we can get, not to mention yet another intrusion of this government into our lives. Classy Obama. Classy.
3. Again in that blog in the Code Pink law, I would reopen Gitmo for people who have traditional and/or Christian beliefs and speak upon them. Also under this law I said I would drop millions of roses upon those we consider to be our enemies with a hand-written letter of apology from each and every American. President Obama went on a tearful apology spree in Europe and the Middle East. I will dub it the Obama Begs For Forgiveness Tour. He was quicker to apologize and blame the United States on foreign soil than the Waco Kid was at the draw. He bowed so far before Saudi King Abdullah that the King thought he was going to get his shoes spit shined. Also the DHS recently "released" a report to law enforcement to look out for veterans returning from Iraq and Afghanistan because they might get radicalized and become terrorists. They also put forth to look out for extremists. These extremists were categorized this way by the Obama DHS because they are pro-life, pro 2nd amendment, and are conservatives. Ooooooh scary. That's about 50% of America. Coming from an administration that changed the phrase "war on terror" to "overseas contingency operation", I have great skepticism with their views on what a terrorist is. This is the biggest shot the Obama Administration has thrown at his opposition. If this doesn't scare most Americans, then the fruition of Obama's ideals probably won't either. This was such an overt gesture to me..... me? Am I a terrorist? Damn, didn't know that....This was such an overt gesture to America that dissent might no longer be legal in the very near future, but thankfully for this marxist piece of dung (yeah, you Obama) most of America has their heads where the Sun doesn't shine, and it would take a strong kick to the gut to dislodge their heads. Maybe then they'll wake up, but I suggest shampooing first after such a lodging. Remember lather, rinse, repeat.
4. In the blog "Palin Makes Media Show Their Hand", which was written on September 6, 2008, I said that the mainstream media would not quit going after Palin even after the election is over. My exact quote was "It's not just that she's a threat to Obama's chance of winning. She's a threat to the entire progressive movement. This is a young, very attractive woman that gives women in middle America an identity. She is a threat to their way of living from their perspective, and I'm not overstating that at all. She must be torn down for the good of all progressives." Looks like I wasn't overstating this at all. The left-wing rabid media is still going after her as if she killed their mother. I guess that would be Michelle. They can't stop themselves because they know of the threat she poses. Maybe she's not even a threat in 2012 to them. 2016 though, look out. Even if she wanted to go away, the mainstream media would not allow her to. The women of middle America probably identify more with her than they do the snobby elitists on the coasts. For this Palin must be made as villainous and foolish as possible. The mainstream media also saw these Tea Parties as a threat to their movement as well. That's why their coverage was so outrageous. They can't have traditional America make a comeback. In so doing, they probably lost more viewers. That's okay to them though. They think they are winning the good fight for their ideology. They don't care if they go down the tubes. There are things that are more important than journalistic fairness and professionalism and making money to the mainstream media. Marxism, fascism, and making sure their Eurotopia comes to America are the most important things to them. I also proposed in that first presidential run blog that I would bailout the mainstream media. They know they can do their work as a diehard Obama front and their lord will not let them go into ruin. There have been a few papers that filed for bankruptcy, but watch for the next joke to come true. Obama will not let go of his press secretaries. The Obama Administration's DHS report and the mainstream media doing his bidding by tearing down those that oppose him are as close to a fascist government this country has ever had. Add that he fired a CEO of a private company and appointed another and you have us becoming ever closer to a fascist, marxist government. Given that this is who he surrounded himself with: Reverend Wright, William Ayers, Bernardine Doehrn, Rashid and Mona Khalidi, Saul Alinsky, and his staffers having posters of Che Guevera on campaign headquarter walls-what did America think they were getting when they elected this man? He will be called by me from now on "Barackarl Marxobama".