Posted by
Jesse "The Mind" Norman on Saturday, September 27, 2008 1:21:00 PM
In Switzerland, they came up with a "plant's bill of rights". Let me repeat that. In Switzerland, they came up with a "plant's bill of rights". If you're reading that and thinking it's either a joke (which I've been known to make) or something besides a nightmarish scenario, then you're wrong. You see, attorneys representing dandelions are suing on their behalf. Evidently, dandelions are PO'd that children keep pulling them out of the ground and doing that "Mary had a baby and its head popped off" game. Okay, that's a joke. Seriously though, government officials there are angered that humans are doing to plants what they like. People eat them. People kill weeds. People mow grass. In Switzerland now, this may be unacceptable to them.
The panel that was commissioned unanimously (yes unanimously) said that to kill plants arbitrarily is morally wrong because just like human beings, they are alive. I've been wondering when we were going to come to this and now we have. This is another strike from the nutty left fringe to make human life expendable in order to save Mother Earth. First it was "meat is murder". Second it was "man is going to melt the Earth". Now it's "salad is murder". Next it will be "man must be rendered extinct for the good of our planet". Watch.
The Swiss, who took the high moral ground in WWII by being "neutral" but helped the Nazis rob the Jews, now think if you go to a salad bar that you are a rabid anti-plantite. An anti-plantite is someone who hates plants. Okay, I made that up but I think I just might submit that one to Merriam-Webster's site. Too late. I just did it. If you go to a salad bar and use ham or chicken chunks, you should be ashamed of yourself. You're murdering just about all of life on Earth. Murderer!
I know it says "arbitrarily killing", but who are the arbitrators? What will be the factors in their judgment? What conditions of eating plants will they find acceptable? Will these people accept you growing a garden and eating what you grow? I grow a garden every summer and eat from it. Damn good stuff. Could you imagine some government official saying "sir, the way you cut that pepper is cruel and inhumane. You're under arrest." Just think of it. If PETA had its way, that's exactly the kind of law they would have for those who eat meat. Meat is murder, afterall. PETP will say "salad is murder". PETP just isn't as catchy is it? Sounds like a burp. "PETP... oh excuse me."
I know people on the right are made fun of all of the time by celebrities and intellectuals, but this is as whacky as it gets. Of course intellectuals in the coming years will actually try to make you believe that what the Swiss did made sense and will hope the rest of the world adopts their insanity. Maybe they'll allow you to pull that tomato off the vine as long as you inject the tomato and the plant with some sort of anesthetic before you do. To pull the grapes off the vine without anesthetic is cruelty they just cannot sit idly by and take. Neither will they let you just pull a head of lettuce out of the ground without anything to numb its pain. Don't you hear it screaming in agony? Salad is murder!