Posted by
Jesse "The Mind" Norman on Tuesday, December 02, 2008 2:38:00 AM
Written on August 16, 2007 on Yahoo blog:
I hate today's music. Man does music nowadays suck! I mean of all genres. I've never heard music so bad in my entire life. And everyone seems to just go along with it because that's what is being played. I really think a group of seven year olds with a teenage lead singer would catch on if they played it on the radio. What are you people listening to? These bands nowadays seriously sound like someone got a guitar for Christmas, and then got a record contract by the time New Year's came around. It's void of any melody, skill, and certainly musicianship. Who can't strum fast? That's as easy as it gets. "If we turn it up way loud and strum fast they will think we're good. Oh! We got to hop around like we're on hot coals too." Fallout Boy... it doesn't get any worse than them. I kept wondering who Fallout Boy was because I kept hearing the name. I knew they probably were some sucky new band. Then when I was flipping through the channels I stopped at SNL and a band was playing. They were so bad I thought it was a skit. I'm not kidding. I thought it was a skit. Then it kept going. Then I thought "I bet this is Fallout Boy". I was right. I started laughing to myself like a lunatic because I got it right. I knew this Fallout Boy was going to be awful. I just didn't know how awful they were going to be. How can anyone listen to this? I'll give my 11 year old nephew a guitar and you can listen to him in awe too. But they just typify bands of today. Most bands sound the same. They start a song real fast, then slow it down and have the singer whine like a middle school boy who got turned down for a dance, then they play real fast like they're throwing a tantrum. Repeat. The music sounds so cheap that their cd's should go directly to dollar stores. The other band lead singers sound like they just have scratchy throats. One word..... RICOLA. Who can't make that sound? I am doing it right now. Yet, I'm still dirt poor and not singing in front of a crowd with women chanting my name. Some things just aren't right.
Then there's hard metal. Bunch of guys with really tiny wienies who obviously aren't happy about it. Why else would they be so angry? They can get groupies who fall for their shtick. Their parents probably have a lot of money even if they don't. I'm not buying that "no one understands me" crap. I really think they suffer from Napoleon Syndrome below the belt. What's with the grunting too? I can't understand a damn thing they say, and don't tell me you can cause I know you'd be lying. Kerr bluh rar dun kruh rooooohhhk!!! Know what I just said translated from death metal? A thing of beauty is a joy forever. See I could have said anything there. I could have said "dad's shoes taste good". The head bobbing I really believe is their way of just seeing if their brain is still inside their skulls. The music is so mindless that they do this to make their brain rattle. Just the brain's way of saying "yep, I'm still here".
Then you have rap. It's no wonder why rap is one letter away from being CRAP. I'm tired of hearing about tek 9's, some hos you have, and especially how you have Bentleys. Even if you do, I know you'll be liquidating them all within two years. You're going to have a fire sale that would make the Florida Marlins jealous. Don't give me the "I'm just keepin' it real, you know what I'm sayin'? That's how it is in da hood" routine. I used to live in DA HOOD for fourteen years, and it's not like that at all. I've never seen a Bentley in Gary. I've never seen pimps backhanding their hos either. I've never even seen a cop abuse a black man in da hood. For those who don't know, Gary, Indiana is just a smaller Detroit. Probably worse. To give you a clue as to how bad it is in Gary, they threw a parade and all night bash when they regained the "most violent city per capita in the world" title. That's rough. Can rap talk about something else? Great, we know you have money, hos, a cell phone, a pager, Bentleys, and a mansion. We get it. Then some other rapper two years from now will buy what you have because you're played out and you have to pay for your bills and taxes. Wait! I sense another song there for you about how "the man" has brought another black man down. In a failed comeback attempt you can do it on your tours of fairs and store openings. I also can't stand that rappers start their song by saying "yeeya" 25 times. "Yeeya uh yeeya uh yeeya uh yeeya uh ............. yeeya uh". Great skill. And why do they always need someone with them? Can't you do it on your own? "Hey Jimi Hendrix, you do the fretboard while another guy strums the strings for you." Could you imagine? Jimi would shove his guitar up the backside of the moron who suggested such a thing. Always it's someone featuring someone. You can't do it on your own? It's like a kid who doesn't want to walk around the house in the dark without someone holding his hand to get a glass of water. Pathetic.
Now with country music. This soulless version of the blues is for people who think 'rhythm' and 'passion' are the Antichrist and False Prophet. I hate country music. Always have. I do have an ear for talent so I used to hear some talent in country music. Not anymore. Now I hear wuss after wuss literally crying their lyrics. Why oh why does every country song have to mention a city or state in the south? We get it, you're a hick. It must kill country musicians that Cheyenne is on the north side of the country. Tim McGraw is putrid. I've never heard a whining like that in all my life. Only thing I can compare his whining to is when a woman has showed up on Maury for the fourth time to see if she finally found the man that is the father of her baby, then finding out he isn't. "Waaah, there's only seven candidates left." What is with this effeminate way of posing that all country male musicians do? They all wear jeans, a cowboy hat, and then they stand with their hands at their belt with their heads right on top of their right shoulder. Every one of them does it. That's fruitier looking than The Wiggles. Why do they wear cowboy hats? I know most of them haven't been near a damn horse or cow. Some musicians are from Australia and Canada. Next, the French will start getting into country music. "Hey Gilles, lez go to ehhhmerica and be zi country musishiown. It's so ... how do they say ... easy."
I don't like hearing Buck Owens, but I hear the talent there. He was enormously talented. LL Cool J I don't like to hear, but I hear the talent. U2 I don't particularly like. Thirty years ago they'd be just an above-average band, but since music is so bad today, they sound like the greatest thing ever. I do hear the talent there though. I'm just making it clear that I don't think certain musicians suck because I don't like them. I say all the time "I don't like them, but they are talented". When I was growing up during the late 80s, there were the hair bands. I hated them too. Poison blew. Warrant was even worse. But them together killed the hairband movement. Thank you, Warrant. Kurt Cobain and his band Nirvana changed all that. They had talent. They were waaaaay overrated, but they had talent. They brought in a new type of music. People that had no skill with their instruments, but played really loud. Damn you, Warrant! What music do I like to listen to? Since I was in high school I liked the older music. Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, The Beatles, Rolling Stones, The Who, CCR, ACDC, ZZ Topp, Jimi Hendrix, and musicians like that. Go ahead and argue with that talent. Tell me that Fallout Boy is better than Led Zeppelin. If you do, then you're IQ is on the negative side. Please people, demand better music. I know record sales are at an all time low, so that's a good sign. Keep it up. Demand more talent. Bankrupt these record companies until they realize "ok, they realize all of this sucks. We've been had. What's Jimmy Page doing? Can we dig Hendrix up?"